Loving bad
by Yellowmiki98
Summary: When she witnesses her mother's death clary goes and lives with her fugitive father valentine and brother Jonathon. But when their home is attacked by shadowhunters from New York and takes clary captive will clary find the true meaning of love or will she stay loyal to her father
1. Chapter 1

i remember the day my mother died. It was a nice sunny day. Not a cloud in the sky. It was one of those days that makes you think nothing can go wrong. I woke up smiling. I ran downstairs to where my mother should have been making breakfast. I ran into the dining room but she wasn't there. There wasn't even breakfast. I ran into the kitchen to see if she was there but she wasn't. Next I checked the living room, her art studio, the loft even the bathroom. Starting to panic I ran upstairs to see if she was there. I checked every room finally stopping in front of her bedroom door. It was closed tight. Quietly I took a deep breath and pushed the door open and peeked in. My mother lay in the bed. Next to her a man was kneeling cradling her in his arms. His head was bent over close to her room was pitch black. Looking around I noticed that the curtains were taped shut. I looked back at my mother and the man and in the darkness I could just barely make out sparkling white of the mans teeth. I realized what was happening and taking a deep breath I sprinted towards the window and started ripping up the tape.i was half way done when I felt cold hard hands grab my shoulder and fling me back. When I opened my eyes I saw that the vampire was trying to get the tape back on the wall without much luck. I felt a spark of fear but looking at my mother's unmoving body I felt another spark. It was the spark of anger and it was stronger than the spark of fear. I gathered as much strength and leapt at the vampire. The vampire didn't see me coming until there was five long bloody streaks running down his cheek. He stopped attempting to put the tape back and turned to face me.

He hissed and started walking towards me. I started backing up the spark of anger that gave me courage had burned out. It was only when I hit the wall that I realized I could still beat him. I recalled where my mother hid her weapons. I turned and ran as fast as I could for her closet. I ran in and closed the sliding doors behind me using a hook to keep the door closed. Then I ran i and counted off the number of shelves. When I got to the third set I climbed up to the top and started feeling around. I felt the blade of a seraph blade and grabbed it. I jumped down and unhooked the door. I expected to see the vampire in the doorway but he was back at the window fastening the tape to the wall. I ran at him and kicked him the back so hard he stumbled back. I looked at my hands and realized that even though I was only ten I had a mean kick. The vampire started to run towards me I cut the curtain causing the curtain to come tumbling down letting the sun shine. The vampire shrunk back from the light and hissed. He ran towards the other window. I threw the blade and watched as it cut through the curtain of the other window letting the light in. The vampire swore and shrunk back. He hissed again and glared at me. He was boxed in. I ran to my mother's side. Her head moved a bit and looked towards me. Her eyes were slightly open. I watched as she opened her eyes then closed them again. She reached her arm out towards me and failed. I grabbed her arm and instantly tried finding her pulse. I turned towards her night stand and started searching through the drawers. I found her stele in the bottom drawer under a book of painting techniques. I turned towards her and grabbed her arm. I drew a sloppy iratze above her pulse and did another on her neck. I drew multiple iratzes around her body and watched as some of her color came back into her cheeks. "Mom we need to contact the conclave how do I do it." She turned her head in my direction. "You... you...you need to send them a fire message. In my night...nightstand there's a list of all their addresses." I turned towards the nightstand again and looked in the drawers. I found the list in the first drawer. Along with a pencil and pad of paper. Quickly I wrote five of the same messages and addressed them to different people. Then I made my way over to the fireplace by the door. I started a fire and threw each of the messages in one after another. Within fifteen minutes a knock came at the door. I made my way to the door but remembering the vampire I turned and went back into the closet. When I came out I had a vial of holy water and a clove of garlic. I sprinkled some water on the floor bordering where the light shone and then I sprinkled pieces of garlic around the windows, bed, and holy water. Next I covered my mother with holy water and garlic as well.

With that done I ran down stairs and opened the door. Instead of the conclave as I had expected there stood my brother and father. They were dressed in black with seraph blades slung into sheaths at their waists and on the backs. Jonathon wore a quiver and bow over his shoulder. I quickly tried to fill in the doorway although I was really small. Jonathon looked down at me (although he was only eleven he was taller than me by two inches.)and smirked. "Clarissa where is your mother?" Valentine asked his eyes dark with concern. He must have seen the change in my face when he mentioned mother. He frowned and pushing me aside walked to the staircase. "Jocelyn?" He yelled up to the second landing. He turned and walking up to me. Valentine crouched down to my height and grabbed my shoulders. "Clarissa I asked once now I'm telling you. Where is your mother?" Mutely I pointed up. "Did something happen? She and I were supposed to go out while you and jonathon stayed here." "There was a vam..vampir...vampire." I muttered under my breath. "what did you say." I said it again only loud enough that the vampire could have heard me. "Oh shit." Valentine said "where is he now?" "I...I trapped him." There was a moment of silence before jonathon burst out laughing and valentine pursed his lips. "Come on." He said and swung me up into his arms. Then he ran up the stairs to mother's bedroom. What I saw scarred me for life. My mother was on the bed her eyes closed skin as white as bones. Her skin seemed to sink into her so that we could see where every bone in her body started and stopped. Valentine stopped and stared. Slowly he put me down and rushed to her side. Her stele and seraph blade lay discarded where I left them. He shook her lightly but got no response. I went and sat next to her on the bed. "Father." "Not now." "But father." "No." Valentine said looking up. I saw him tense and looked where his gaze landed. There the vampire sat in the far corner where no light shone. He looked to be watching everything but not seeing anything. I watched as my fathers face went from a mix of horror and sadness to a mask of icy cold anger. In a movement too quick for me to follow valentine grabbed a sword from around his waist and held it out in front of him. He walked to the edge of the vampires prison and sniffed the air. "Good job trapping him in Clarissa." Then he reached down grabbed a clove of garlic and put it around his neck. After doing this valentine walked towards the vampire who had opened his eyes. As valentine grew nearer the valentine grew tender and tender until finally he jumped to his feet and leapt at valentine. Valentine stood where he was. The vampire grabbed a hold of valentine only to jump back at the sight of the garlic valentine put around his neck. Hissing the vampire retreated into a corner as valentine proceeded to slowly walk towards him. When valentine was only two feet away from the vile creature valentine drove the sword through its neck. The vampires head went rolling and landed at valentines feet. Valentines took a dagger out of his belt and cut out the vampires heart. Picking up the and the head valentine proceeded to walk over to the fireplace. He threw the head and the heart into the fire and watched as it burned to ashes. As I watched, Valentines hair looked almost like a white halo and circling his head Jonathan's went over and placed his hand on valentines shoulder. Valentine shook Jonathan's hand off. I looked back at my mother's lifeless face i couldn't help but stroke the pale face. I grabbed the vase of flowers that Jocelyn kept on her nighttable and placed the flowers within, in jocelyns hair and in her arms. Looking at this colorful collection of flowers I started to cry. I didn't see valentine until he picked me up and rocked me in his arms. "There there my dear. Your mother's soul may have left her body but she remains in our hearts." I nodded and sniffled. I then wiped my eyes and looked up at him. The morning light made him look like a guardian angel. "Clarissa there's nothing left here for you. Okay. I want you to go to your room and pack your clothes up and anything else you may want and meet me and your brother outside in the garden okay?" I nodded and he set me down. I hurried from the room and ran to my room at the other side of the hall. When I opened my door I was surprised to see two duffel bags on the floor zipped up. "I hope you don't mind I came in and packed for you." Jonathon said coming up behind me. Stunned I shook my head. "Good now lets go." He strode to the bags and grabbed them. "Wait I need to grab something first." I ran to my bed and pulled out a small suitcase and started throwing things in. My blanket, my art supplies, seashells, a small yellow duck and blue bunny attached at the hands, then carrying the suitcase I ran back to my mother's room and put some of her jewelry in along with her Stele and some other pieces of her shadow hunting things Shoving them into the suitcase as I ran out the room. I ran down the stairs and ran to my mother's art studio. I threw random things in. A couple art supplies, a couple mini paintings, normal sized paintings, papers and a bunch more. I started running to the front door but stopped as I passed the living room. The living room was the room that my mom and I usually sat in drinking hot cocoa and watched reruns of shows long forgotten. I stood in the doorway just staring. Everything in this room spoke of a happy day nothing special just a happy normal day. I went in and grabbed the quilt given to my mother by her mother. I grabbed a couple of the photos of my mother and I. Others of me my mother's best friend Lucian and some of me and my best friend Simon. Satisfied i grabbed all I wanted I dragged my suitcase towards the front door. I had to set the bag down to open the door. Valentine was waiting for me on the front steps his back to me. Jonathon was sitting on top of a stone bench in the garden polishing a sword. At the sound of the door being closed they turned their heads in my direction. Valentine came towards me and grabbed the suitcase from my hands with one hand and took my hand in the other. Jonathon came over and took my other hand. My duffel bags were at valentines feet. The air seemed to shimmer around us and then the yard disappeared and was replaced with a great white manor. "Welcome to idris clary."

"Clarissa...Clarissa... snap out of it they will be here any moment." I snapped out of my reverie and looked up. Jonathon stood looming over me. He thrust a bag into my hands. I opened it to see piles of clothes. Sighing Jonathon grabbed my hand and yanked me to my feet. On my feet I yanked my hand out of his grasp and scowled at him. "I think you dislocated my arm." I said. He smiled and shrugged. Then he did it again he pulled me towards the door but stopped in the doorway. He pushed me back in the room and closed the door. Then he proceeded with stacking all the furniture in the room against the door. He stood back to admire his work when the furniture started to tumble down. Then a sound came from the window. Jonathon strode to the window and thrust it open. Valentine stood there motioning for us to jump. Jonathon turned back grabbed my duffel and threw it out the window. Then he jumped. As always he landed on his feet. I looked down and saw it was a high jump. I gulped, turning and walked to the middle of the room. Just then the door burst open. Someone entered the room and looked around. I turned back to the window and started running. I ran to the window and threw myself out. I closed my eyes. I had not yet fallen for a second when I stopped falling. Thinking I had reached the ground I opened my eyes. The ground was five feet away. I looked up and saw to muscular hands gripping my wrists. The hands then started pulling me up. When I was high enough up he gripped my armpits and lifted me all the way in. I could hear my father and brother yelling something. I looked down at them and saw my dad pull out one of his throwing daggers. Thinking there was a small chance of hope left I watched as he took aim and was stopped by Jonathon. Jonathon pointed to their left. I followed his finger and saw two more people both with pale skin and pitch black hair running towards them. I looked at my father and met his eyes. He then mouthed four words, four words that planted the seed of hopelessness in my heart, and took off at a run in the opposite direction. Those four words were "we will be back." I gulped and watched their slowly retreating figures until the arms pulled me fully inside. I looked at my captor and stared.

 _ **sorry for the delay had trouble publishing**_


	2. Chapter 2

My captor had golden blond hair almost like my brother and father but a tad bit darker. His eyes glowed in the darkness. They were unlike anything I had ever seen and that… that was saying something. Jonathan's eyes were similar but they instead of golden were pitch black. If you stared into them long enough you would eventually

Lose yourself ( they had this strange ability to pull you in and make you never want to look away). These eyes were different they were golden like the sun and if you stared into them long enough well I don't know what happened. The eyes glowed so brightly that I couldn't look at them for too long. The eyes belonged to a golden body. Everything about my captor seemed to be golden. We stared at each other for the longest time and probably wouldn't have stopped if it Hadn't been for the voice. "Jace you got one good job." We both looked over at the voice. It belonged to one of the black haired shadowhunters I had seen chasing after my father and brother. Behind him there was another girl. At first glance I noticed that she had black hair like the boy but where he had eyes the color of the bluest sky she had eyes like dirt. "Yeah I got one. Did you get the others?" Before the boy could talk though the girl interjected "no they ran off. But I saw valentine mouth something up the girl." She spat out my father's name like it was Poison. They all turned their eyes on me. "Well is it true?" Jace asked. Instead of replying I spat in his face. He dropped me in attempts to get the saliva out of his eyes. I scrambled to my feet and ran under my bed. I heard footsteps and then a hand reached under the bed. When it couldn't feel anything ( I had squeezed myself into the far corner) it tried again at the foot of the bed. When it still didn't work he pulled his arm away. I reach up under my mattress and pulled out a seraph blade. "Raphael." I whispered. The blade glowed to life. I looked back to the edges of the bed. Jace ducked his head down and without thinking I cut him across the face. Swearing he straightened up and backed away. I heard someone ask him if he was alright. Jace replied with "she cut me….she cut me." "Here come here I'll give you an iratze." "Thanks Alec.. izzy do you think you can get her out." With a sigh the girl who I guessed was izzy got on her hands and knees and looked under. I pointed the blade at her. "Woah woah careful there. I'm not going to hurt you." I narrowed my eyes and inched the blade a bit closer to her. All of a sudden the bed was lifted up. I looked to see Jace and the other boy whom I took to be Alec standing there. While I was staring at them I didn't notice that izzy had taken the advantage and yanked the blade out of my hand. Then she grabbed my arm and pulled me to my feet. I tried to yank my arm out of her grasp but the girl's grip was surprisingly strong. I struggled as she pulled me to the door. I rooted myself in the doorway making it impossible for izzy to move forward without losing her grip. Sighing she looked behind me. I looked over my shoulder and saw jace approach me. In his hand he held a stele. He grabbed me by the shoulders and drew a rune. Instantly I felt sleepy. Looking up at him through half closed eyes I asked "what did you draw?" "A somno rune or knockout/sleep rune." He said matter of factly. Then I saw nothing but black. I was half aware of someone's hands catching my fall.

When I awoke I thought I was still asleep. There wasn't anything but black. But as my eyes adjusted I realized I was in fact in a room. There was one tiny window with vertical bars. The walls were concrete. One wall facing north crisscrossed with bars. I ran to the bars and looked through. There was a hallway with torches. I noticed that against the back wall there was a slumped figure. "Hey,... hey you." At my voice it looked up. "So the sleeping beauty has awaken." It said. I recognized the voice immediately. He got up and in the torch light his hair shone like the sun. I hissed in reply. "Where am I where did you bring me?" "I brought you home Clarissa morgenstern." I hissed "my home is in idris." "Oh but only for six years have you lived in idris…. we are in New York. Look out the window. Is it how you remember?" Doing as he said I looked out the window and saw blue skies and green grass. Beyond that was buildings. I gasped it was everything I remembered. I turned around and looked at him. He must have found something very amusing in my expression because he doubled over with laughter. I scowled at him. Then I ran across the room and kicked him in the side. Or tried to anyway. Before my foot could make impact he was on my left holding my foot suspended in the air. And like anyone whose foot was held up I started to lose my balance. He dropped my foot before I could fall over. "I would think twice next time before you try that again." He whispered in my ear. I shuddered and pulled away. I went and sat on the musty thing they called a bed. Scowling I crossed my arms and laid down my back to him. I heard the door open and a shadow fell across my body. I looked up and saw jace right there smirking.

"What do you want?" "Are you hungry?" "Why do you care?" "Because I need to keep you alive so we can question you." "On whose orders?" I said without no sarcasm. "Mine." A new voice sounded. Jace and I both looked up. In the doorway stood a small but bossy looking woman. She had black hair and blue eyes. Her skin was pale and covered by scars of old and new runes. I realize that she must be Alec and izzy's mother. "Maryse." Jace said with a great amount of respect. "Jace I think Alec said something about Going out. He left already." "Shit," He ran to the door but stopped and turned,"wait I can't leave it's my watch and…." "I'll take your watch now go." Maryse said making shooing motions at him. Laughing he ran out. Maryse turned back to me. "So you are clarissa Morgenstern?" "Last time I checked i was." I said. Maryse sighed. "So are you hungry?" "Maybe I am maybe I'm not, why would you want to know?" "I need to question you about your father and brother." "Well good luck with that there is no way I will and don't you think about bringing those creepy brothers here with their stupid sword. They will not get anything from me and neither will you. Besides valentine wouldn't tell us anything about where we were going or why. It wasn't until you're three hooligans captured me that he really showed he cared about us. It has always been that way. Whenever we go someplace he never tells us until there's someone dead at jonathan's feet." I knew I should stop talking but I couldn't. Before I could say anything more I slapped my hands over my mouth. I looked at Maryse and saw that she was surprised. Then she smirked and said "thanks that will be all. I'll make sure you will be…. rewarded." She left.


	3. Chapter 3

When Maryse was out of sight I ran to the door and shook it. It was locked. I was about turn when a glimmer of light in the corner of my eye. Looking towards it i saw it was a bobby pin . I crouched down and reached through the bars and reached for the pin. I heard a pop and a searing pain in my wrist as my bone snapped. Despite the pain I managed to reach the pin. I gritted my teeth as I straightened the pin. With my good hand I reached around through the bars and inserted the pin into the lock. Silently I was thanking my father for those lock picking lessons. Jonathon used to pick the lock at my bedroom door and pull pranks on me during the nights. So I decided to go to my father for help and he started working Jonathon to the bone and gave me lock picking lessons. I then became the one to pull the pranks on Jonathan. Finally I heard a click and smiled. I pushed the door free. I was about to go up the stairs when looking back at my cell, I realized it wouldn't take too long for so,done to come down here and sound the alarm. I ran to some of the other cells and picked the locks. Reaching inside the cells I took a couple of pillows and blankets from under the beds and ran back to my cell. I used the pillows to make a body like shape lay there. Then with the blankets I covered it up. One blanket was red and orange. I started to pull apart the threads and scattered them over the pillow. I stepped back and admired my handy work. Satisfied I ran out my cell and up the stairs. I came out at a deserted hallway. My mother used to come here for enclave meetings and sometimes she would bring me along. When she was in the meetings I would wander around the halls exploring. Because of my little explorations I had a mental map in my mind. I didn't recognize where I was, so I figured I must be on the west side. That was the only side of the institute that hadn't explored. I walked down to the left until I heard footsteps and I ducked into a doorway. At one point I ducked into a doorway that was well lit. I opened the door and stepped in. When the footsteps passed I turned and looked around me. Weapons lined the walls. There were seraph blades, long swords, bows and whips. I grabbed a couple of seraph blades and a whip. It was then that I noticed the table in the far corner. It had a bowl and computers. Walking up to it I noticed that the bowl contained steles. i grabbed one and drew an iratze on my wrist. Instantly the pain disappeared. I sighed and tucked the stele into my belt. There were two doors in the weapons room. There was the one I came in from and another. I decided to go through the second door and found myself in the entryway. I was about to walk to the door when three people came into view arguing. One had golden blond hair and the other two had jet black hair. As I watched them I saw jace glance up and in my direction. Quickly I ducked back into the shadows expecting jace to yell and run after me. I was about to go into the weapons room but heard no running feet no yelling. Confused I peeked my head around the corner and saw that the three of them hadn't even moved a fraction of an inch from where they were. They were still arguing. Maybe Jace hadn't seen me. After a couple of minutes the three dispersed. Alec and izzy went down another hallway still bickering and jace stood where he was as still as a stone. After a bit he turned his gaze from the hallway Alec and izzy took to the hallway I hid in. "Okay Clarissa you can come out now." Turns out he had seen me. I ran into the weapons room and dove under the table. I heard the door open and footsteps walk in. The footsteps walked a little ways into the room and stopped. I took out the seraph blade and named it Michael. the table cloth was lifted and I sliced out with the blade. Jace howled and straightened up his hand darting under the table and grabbing my wrist. he pulled me up with him and backed me up against the wall. When he lifted the tablecloth up I slashed out at him with the blade. with a yell he straightened up one hand holding his right hand to his face his left hand darted under the table and grabbed my wrist. he pulled me up with him and backed me up against the wall. he flipped his hair out of his face and looked at me. "do you cut every boy in the face when you meet him?" "no just you." I growled. he opened his mouth as if to say more but the door opened cutting off his answer. he leaned into me and said "if you value even a small shred of your life than you will keep your head low and pretend you enjoy this." before I could say anything else he pressed his mouth to mine kissing me. abruptly he pulled away and turned around. "oh um I'm sorry if you need to use this room we can go somewhere more private." "no I think I will come back later." the man said. the man ran out the way he came. jace turned around and grinned at me. I scowled at him and pointed the seraph blade at him. "if you ever do that again I will cut you down where you stand." jace held up his hands and said "woah woah woah. when did you become so horrid? I remember a time when we were kids and you would do anything to get me smile." "yeah and that was six years ago. I was a naïve ten year old girl. I hadn't seen what I did and I-" just as I was about to continue my stomach rumbled. looing down at me jace asked "when was the last time you ate?" "well lets see I didn't eat yesterday and I didn't eat today so I think Friday night." "WHAT you haven't eaten in two days?" "well three someone's interrupted my day yesterday and captured me. so yes I haven't eaten in two days what did you think?"

sorry this chapter is so short I kept losing what I wrote and had to rewrite it sorry. (and my sister is impatient and wants to use the computer sorry.) I hope you enjoy this chapter. I hope to have a chapter out before next Sunday. I wont be able to write for a week afterwards. bye for now and please please follow and comment. and if you have any thoughts as to what should or what you want to happen please tell me. i cant wait to hear from you.


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